Five Elements Balanced Batik 1996
The love of a man,
who I knew as a boy,
shelters me,
more than I should let it.
Shuffling feet,
that measure the beat,
of the time that travels between us.
If without him, I am waiting.
The love of a man,
who I knew as a boy,
shelters me,
more than I should let it.
Shuffling feet,
that measure the beat,
of the time that travels between us.
If without him, I am waiting.
Enchanted Woods
My city of oil and glass,
with stained sidewalks and my sore feet,
walking, walking,
waiting for the train,
the weight of art in my hand,
on my back,
and in my mind.
I am a stranger in this city,
with no friend but time.
Time;
resented and lost,
translucent medium,
of unwanted, resisted action.
My forgotten city of glass and sadness,
oil and integrity.
Where do I stand without,
pavement and strangers?
My city of oil and glass,
with stained sidewalks and my sore feet,
walking, walking,
waiting for the train,
the weight of art in my hand,
on my back,
and in my mind.
I am a stranger in this city,
with no friend but time.
Time;
resented and lost,
translucent medium,
of unwanted, resisted action.
My forgotten city of glass and sadness,
oil and integrity.
Where do I stand without,
pavement and strangers?
Disassociation
I hyper attend to the moment as it shifts,
from sensation to sensation.
It is bubbling up and out through the edge,
until there is no edge.
The blur of me has expanded into the everything.
The heat of my interior is the same as the heat of my exterior.
Are my feelings as unreal as yours,
when I try to feel your feelings for you?
If I am making it all up,
is it not still made?
We are all making this up.
Your line of vision,
dissects my line of vision,
bisects his line of vision,
ad infinitum,
until all of the colors are accounted for
I hyper attend to the moment as it shifts,
from sensation to sensation.
It is bubbling up and out through the edge,
until there is no edge.
The blur of me has expanded into the everything.
The heat of my interior is the same as the heat of my exterior.
Are my feelings as unreal as yours,
when I try to feel your feelings for you?
If I am making it all up,
is it not still made?
We are all making this up.
Your line of vision,
dissects my line of vision,
bisects his line of vision,
ad infinitum,
until all of the colors are accounted for
Elements in Action
That which is greater than me;
that which I am a piece of.
Swirl of the elements;
I become the swirl.
The swirl of the water,
the hot air;
I feel it on my edges.
I close my eyes and then become it.
We are one for this moment.
Each thing I behold, I bring inside of me.
Each thing I behold, then passes through me.
That which is greater than me;
that which I am a piece of.
Swirl of the elements;
I become the swirl.
The swirl of the water,
the hot air;
I feel it on my edges.
I close my eyes and then become it.
We are one for this moment.
Each thing I behold, I bring inside of me.
Each thing I behold, then passes through me.
My Heart Exploding, Close-up
Days when I can't let go,
are made for learning.
Dreams that I can't forsake,
are made for yearning.
Love,
even without known purpose,
is what my heart is for.
Days when I can't let go,
are made for learning.
Dreams that I can't forsake,
are made for yearning.
Love,
even without known purpose,
is what my heart is for.
My Heart Exploding
My heart cracks open.
The light streams out,
beaming and bleeding,
strong and steadfast.
It breaks through the veils of iron reality.
It banishes the shadows,
into deeper, darker corners.
How can this light be born of such pain?
How can this love compound itself?
As sorrow pours from me,
as loss has filled me,
and I am left with nothing,
but this love and this pain.
My heart cracks open.
The light streams out,
beaming and bleeding,
strong and steadfast.
It breaks through the veils of iron reality.
It banishes the shadows,
into deeper, darker corners.
How can this light be born of such pain?
How can this love compound itself?
As sorrow pours from me,
as loss has filled me,
and I am left with nothing,
but this love and this pain.
Distance
Turn up the music,
to drown out the sound,
of the silence between us.
Echoless words seep out of the side of our mouths.
Meaningless whispers that creep into our ears.
My mind has run out of sentences,
that might heal our old out of date wounds.
Our yarn has been unraveled,
by the monotony of each other
and the time to wander has wandered near.
Turn up the music,
to drown out the sound,
of the silence between us.
Echoless words seep out of the side of our mouths.
Meaningless whispers that creep into our ears.
My mind has run out of sentences,
that might heal our old out of date wounds.
Our yarn has been unraveled,
by the monotony of each other
and the time to wander has wandered near.
When Our Sun Burns Out
The sun;
gold, glowing, juicy center
of this spinning system.
Quick fire, slow fire,
burn in the sky,
in my middle.
Reach for me with your colors and gravity.
Black center;
sucking out the marrow of my bones.
Drawn too deep,
beyond the point of return,
collapsed inside,
out of itself,
until there is nothing but nothing.
The sun;
gold, glowing, juicy center
of this spinning system.
Quick fire, slow fire,
burn in the sky,
in my middle.
Reach for me with your colors and gravity.
Black center;
sucking out the marrow of my bones.
Drawn too deep,
beyond the point of return,
collapsed inside,
out of itself,
until there is nothing but nothing.
Jealousy
There is a hot sadness,
that falls down,
the whole of me.
So sad,
that there is nothing left here,
but a hole,
of what I wanted to be;
to be wanted,
by you.
My green eye aches,
with the not having.
Another has stolen,
what was never mine.
There is a hot sadness,
that falls down,
the whole of me.
So sad,
that there is nothing left here,
but a hole,
of what I wanted to be;
to be wanted,
by you.
My green eye aches,
with the not having.
Another has stolen,
what was never mine.
I AM/NOT
I am not I.
I am not you.
I am without I.
I am without you.
Alone, isolated, across the salted sea,
from what I thought I used to be.
Without a me,
I can feel free,
for once to rest and simply be.
Without the do
or the dance,
I am open to the chance,
to let my solid edges bleed,
into air and supersede.
The boundaries of self
so freed;
cut loose and softly,
spreading thin,
into the vastness without,
and the vastness within.
I am not I.
I am.
I am not I.
I am not you.
I am without I.
I am without you.
Alone, isolated, across the salted sea,
from what I thought I used to be.
Without a me,
I can feel free,
for once to rest and simply be.
Without the do
or the dance,
I am open to the chance,
to let my solid edges bleed,
into air and supersede.
The boundaries of self
so freed;
cut loose and softly,
spreading thin,
into the vastness without,
and the vastness within.
I am not I.
I am.
Breaths
The first one,
breathed in the presence,
of two, tall trees.
My life,
brought forth suddenly;
a gulp of air,
and then a cry.
The first of many of both things.
Life unfolds in so many ways.
Each unfolding,
is at times, expected and yet unnoticed;
is at others, unpredictable and upending.
I am more naked,
than they will ever be;
more free.
I can't help but have the skin of me,
be exposed,
to every sensation.
If you are going to feel
the everythingness of every thing,
then you will have to be strong.
Strong like trees that bend in the wind;
that reach their arms toward the sun;
and drink deeply from the earth's rich waters.
Breaths,
the last ones;
watched;
one
at
a
time.
The waiting,
to see if there would be another,
We can't know if it is the last breath,
until it is unfollowed.
The magick of my welcoming,
the magick of their departing;
this witnessing was a secret gift,
given to my unfolding life,
tied with ribbons,
from long lines of love and pain.
The first one,
breathed in the presence,
of two, tall trees.
My life,
brought forth suddenly;
a gulp of air,
and then a cry.
The first of many of both things.
Life unfolds in so many ways.
Each unfolding,
is at times, expected and yet unnoticed;
is at others, unpredictable and upending.
I am more naked,
than they will ever be;
more free.
I can't help but have the skin of me,
be exposed,
to every sensation.
If you are going to feel
the everythingness of every thing,
then you will have to be strong.
Strong like trees that bend in the wind;
that reach their arms toward the sun;
and drink deeply from the earth's rich waters.
Breaths,
the last ones;
watched;
one
at
a
time.
The waiting,
to see if there would be another,
We can't know if it is the last breath,
until it is unfollowed.
The magick of my welcoming,
the magick of their departing;
this witnessing was a secret gift,
given to my unfolding life,
tied with ribbons,
from long lines of love and pain.
Iris Study
Self Portrait in Poppies
Unstirred surface,
steady hand, straight eyes,
unhinge heaven,
let all of the stars,
tumble down,
into my soup,
splashing surface,
alert hands,
wet eyes,
soil shakes,
the means and the ends,
crumble free,
covering my feet,
quiet again,
the sweet blue stillness,
urges another disruption,
it's laughing depths,
heckle the sky.
Unstirred surface,
steady hand, straight eyes,
unhinge heaven,
let all of the stars,
tumble down,
into my soup,
splashing surface,
alert hands,
wet eyes,
soil shakes,
the means and the ends,
crumble free,
covering my feet,
quiet again,
the sweet blue stillness,
urges another disruption,
it's laughing depths,
heckle the sky.